EASTER SPECIAL (DISAPPOINTED) Joe: How are you, on this beautiful Friday morning?  Did you bring the lube oils? Lana: Gross, so early for that!  Yeah i did, just want to see what time the mortgage guy is coming to see me today Joe: It’s never too early…  Is the “mortgage guy” coming here?  12.30 would [...]

EPISODE 16 (CLOSER) I sent a few photos to Lana (me with the cats).  This was one of them: Lana: The little black one is just to cute for words! Joe: I know.  He’s my favourite.  He’s like a little bunny (he’s small, and has no tail).  At sixteen years old, he’s not doing too [...]

EPISODE 15 (UP & DOWN) Lana: Morning Mr B!!!  Whats up?  How are you?  How was your evening? Joe: Too early to say…  Haven’t had my coffee yet.  Where’s Anne?  It was a bit of a late one, but I did write my entire article for Saturday – and flirted a bit, as usual.  How [...]

EPISODE 14 (NOISE & MIGRAINES) Lana sent me a link to another house, which she wanted to view. Joe: Can’t connect…  Must be popular…  Better be quick, Lana.  How much is it? Lana: ITS PRICE IS ACTUALLY 160K, BUT THE GUY IS PREPARED TO TAKE OFFERS FROM 100K COS HE IS IN FINANCIAL DWANG. Joe: [...]

EPISODE 13 (DEAD DOG) Lana had to put her dog down, so she wasn’t at work on the day we were gonna do the massage (damn) :-( Lana: Hey.  I’m here.  How you? Joe: I’m OK; thanks.  How are you doing? Lana: Very sad but ok.  Have lost quite a bit of weight these past [...]

EPISODE 12 (FOOD & STUFF) Lana sent me a picture of another house she wanted to view… Joe: I have to say: I don’t like this one at all…  Looks ugly. Lana: You are ugly!!! Joe: Awww; don’t be ugly :-( Lana: Ha ha ha! And its a house so its a no go! Lana [...]

EPISODE 11 (DESPICABLE ME) Lana: How ya doing?  Did u go see despicable me? Joe: Nah; my friend overslept.  How was your weekend? Lana: thats it?  your friend overslept????  what was he doing sleeping in the evening?  unless you wanted to go to the 7:30a, show???? Joe: I go to my Mum’s place at 6pm [...]

EPISODE 10 (HAREM) Lana told me she wanted to buy some harem trousers.  I told her I didn’t know what they were…  So she showed me a picture… Joe: Oh, hell no!  There should be laws against those things. Lana: No man, they are really really cool! Joe: No; they’re really not cool. Lana: Then [...]

EPISODE 9 (BACK) A short start to the new “series” (don’t ask me why she was using CAPS, most of the time). Lana: DON’T WANT TO DISTURB YOU… BUT GOOD MORNING.. GOT A BIG FINE THIS MORNING… Joe: Crap!  Why?  Sorry; I had Gillian at my desk all morning, and then I had to eat.  [...]

EPISODE 8 (LAST DAY!) I apologise in advance for the last “episode” of the first “season”.  It’s boring…  But necessary, for wrapping things up.  The good news is: The second “season” will kick off, on 3 March…  And it will be much better… Lana: Hope your weekend will be super relaxing. x Joe: Thanks.  I’ll [...]

EPISODE 7 (SERIOUS MASSAGE) Earlier, Lana showed me some old photos of herself.  Her hair was short, and I told her she looked like a lesbian.  She started poking and tickling me (any excuse to touch me…  Ha). Lana: I r NOT lesbian! Joe: You cheered me up.  I am having second thoughts about the [...]

EPISODE 6 (SPOILT) Joe: Good morning.  I’m not sure my Outlook is working properly (there’s no message from you this morning).  Please confirm receipt… Lana: Hahahahahaha.  Good morning hun!  Got called into a meeting and just got back!  Still have photos for you to look at! Joe: Yay!  So how’s my favourite FWB (friend without [...]

EPISODE 5 (STUFF) Lana: Feeling a bit better honey comb? Joe: I’m still a bit down, to be honest.  I think I need more hugs :-) Lana: Ha ha are u still sad? Joe: Yeah :-(  Shouldn’t you be in a meeting? Lana: John said he will call me.  Do u want another hug? Joe: [...]

EPISODE 4 (BUSY) Lana: Hey hey.  How u today? Had a though night with this cough again. Am so sick of being sick. Tried to drink a glass of wine last night but it made me really sick Joe: Crap!  Back to the doctor for you, I think.  Will you be off all day? Lana: [...]

EPISODE 3 (PROBLEMS) Joe: I cannot understand why people like the sun and the heat.  There’s nothing worse than being sticky and sweaty – and getting sunburn.  When it’s cold, you can wrap up warm and put heaters on…  Cosy.  When it’s hot, you can’t just take all your clothes off.  Actually, I do at [...]

EPISODE 2 (MONDAYS SUCK) Lana: How are you sweets?  How was the movie watching? Joe: Exhausting…  Really takes it out of you; lying around on the sofa all day.  How was your weekend?  Did you speak to your Mum? Lana: I tried to speak to her and then she turned on the tears and said [...]

E-MAIL FEMALE : NEW SERIES Introduction: Lana* and I started chatting, while we were in Limbo – as we liked to call it (we were waiting to be transferred to a different building, and there wasn’t much work to do).  E-MAIL FEMALE begins, from the time we started at the new place (a few days [...]

My next series will be based on some e-mail conversations, which I had earlier this year – with a female co-worker who fancied me (even though she was engaged to be married…  And is now married).  I still have to go through all the “material” (there’s a LOT).  I’ll post one blog, or “episode”, per [...]