Life Sucks And Then You Die And It Still Sucks2012-07-17 at 11:31 am Blog RSS
I am falling in love with George Lass all over again thanks to all the promos on Chiller (http://www.chillertv.com/shows/deadlikeme/). I’m sure I’m not alone because who could not fall in love with the girl who also said, “That’s me. I’d say I’m sorry to disappoint you… but I’m not. I excel at not giving a shit. Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C equals A, or… whatever. I also don’t have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you’re screwed?”
And, “Bad people are punished by society’s law. And good people…are punished by Murphy’s Law. So you see my dilemma.” And, “They say your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the moment before you die? That might be true if you’re terminally ill, or your parachute doesn’t open…but if death sneaks up on you, the only thing you have time to think is…Aw, shit.” And, ….well, you get the idea.
The point is that she was perfect, her show was perfect and the tragedy is that when you watch her on Chiller, all the really good parts will be cut out. And commercials will be added. You can all want admire the infinite chain of accidents and meaningless coincidences that went into causing the creation of network cable channels solely to illustrate just how right the writers and producers of Dead Like Me are by taking their best work and mutilating it and/or attribute the whole thing to so some grand indecipherable Divine Plan but I say, either way, it’s just more evidence that we’re all screwed.
And now, the Roxy in you might be saying, “You know what your problem is? You wake up every morning wondering what the world’s gonna do for you, wondering who’s gonna bend over backwards, kiss your ass and make you happy when you should just thank God for another day and leave it the fuck at that.” You know, I never liked Rox all that much and I think the reason is her bad attitude.
Or maybe you’re more the Rube type, who put it like this, “You like spaghetti, George? I like spaghetti. I like board games. I like grabbing a trifecta with that long shot on top… that ozone smell you get from air purifiers… and I like knowing the space between my ears is immeasurable… Mahler’s first, Bernstein conducting. You’ve got to think about all the things you like and decide whether they’re worth sticking around for. And if they are, you’ll find a way to do this.”
And when George asked him, “And what if I don’t?” He responded with, “Then you go away, and you don’t get to like anything anymore.” And you know what his problem is? He’s a manipulative liar. I still like him. For the same sorts of reasons that I still like Donald Trump. They both do and say unforgivably stupid and horrible things that I can’t defend them for but they have so many redeeming qualities that I can’t cast them aside.
In Rube’s case, it’s an eternal enigma (In The Donald’s case, there is no enigma at all, just read the news and watch one of his stupid TV shows and then go to the Trump Tower and decide for yourself just how evil he is and if any of the good makes up for all the bad) because Dead Like Me didn’t last long enough to answer the question, “What exactly did Rube know and when did he know it?”
There were plenty of hints in both directions but in my mind, there is no doubt. Rube knew what was going on and feigned ignorance either to make his job easier or because his superiors ordered it and he was lying when he said, “Then you go away, and you don’t get to like anything anymore.”
Why am I so sure of something that has so many other possible answers? Call it faith if you want. But you would sound more sane if you called it the product of a Universe that intentionally creates the illusion of space, time and separation when every point is really intimately connected to every other point and in cases like this, the illusion breaks down and the truth comes out.
In any case, you should be grateful that not once did Rube ever say that this is a learning experience. That life is a classroom, à la all the dumb guests on Coast. Some liars and manipulators have standards and Rube is one of them. Even Donald Trump has not, as far as I know and if my knowledge is wrong please don’t shatter my delusions, sunk low enough to say that we are here to learn things.
So I am firmly convinced that George, along with the rest of us, will not go away and will get to continue liking everything that there is to like. The only question is how much BS will we have to endure before that happens. Both during and after what we call being alive. And the only other question is, “How do we speed that up while avoiding getting deeper into this process and further delaying the desired outcome?”
And what do have to guide us to the answer? Endless streams of endlessly helpful things like expurgated episodes of Dead Like Me on Chiller. To paraphrase Sam Kinison, “Thanks for all the assistance, God!” I could also use another thing that Sam said that went something like this, “I was MARRIED for TWO FUCKING YEARS! Hell would be like Club Med!” And it would fit in beautifully but it would also open up new dimensions to these arguments that we don’t have time to go into so we’re going to skip that one.
Instead, we’re just going to end with another quote from George that kind of magically ties everything together, “I didn’t know what was more disturbing: being dead or the fact that the first man to touch my naked body was a coroner.”
Last 5 posts by Greg
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