ANOTHER YEAR, ANOTHER OPERATION
2012-05-26 at 06:00 am
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I jest. It was another oral procedure (I had an implant fitted). This year, the company decided I don’t need time to heal. I was instructed to apply for just one day off work (the day of the operation – yesterday). I basically told them to go fuck themselves. Since when does a small-minded middle-management bitch know better than a qualified dental surgeon? He recommended a recovery period of one full week. I think a compromise is more than fair. I will probably return to work on Wednesday; having taken 3 days of sick leave. I currently have 30 days available, by the way. God; I hate them so very much… Just want to throw acid in their faces. 
Firstly, because the operation was scheduled for 3.30 in the afternoon, I had to go without food and liquids – from 8.30 in the morning, until after the operation. Ordinarily, I drink around 4 litres of water per day! My mouth was sooooooo dry… 
On top of that, the surgeon was well over 90 minutes late! When I regained consciousness at around 6pm, my first word was “nauseous”. My second and third words were “water” and “hungry”, respectively. At around 6.30, the following items were presented to me:
1. Jelly and custard (in a drinking glass, for some strange reason)
2. Ice-cream (one small scoop)
3. Fruit juice (small)
4. Coke (one can).
“Ooh, ooh! You’re spoiling me. Yummy. Where do I start?”
When I asked, “Where’s the rest of my dinner?” I was told that was all I could have. They called it a “dental diet”, or some crap. I felt cheated. Everyone else had chicken and rice. :-(
When I arrived home, I had something slightly more substantial:
I am eating normally today:
Prior to the operation, I told no fewer than 5 nurses I needed to be weighed (for the general anaesthetic). Nobody bothered. Actually, someone wrote 60kg on the form! I haven’t been 60kg, since I was 15 years old! Jesus wept. Can you believe a nurse just took a random guess, because she couldn’t be bothered to fetch the scale and weigh me? That could’ve turned out badly, if I hadn’t insisted I was weighed (everyone was scrambling to find a scale, in the operating theatre – and the doctors and other staff were not happy with the nurses in that ward). In my experience, most nurses are practically useless – and uncaring. It took them almost an hour to discharge me! Christ; all they had to do was remove the drip and take my blood pressure.
The good news is: I’ve lost 4 kilograms, in the past year. :-)
The bad news is: I am in pain, now the anaesthetic has worn off. My jaw is very sore. Ouch. :-(
I reckon I should’ve gone for the boob job. I only have A-cups. 
Joe.
P.S. God; It doesn’t seem like a year, since my last operation (probably because it’s only been 10 months).
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10 Responses to “ANOTHER YEAR, ANOTHER OPERATION”
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I have never seen an omelette served on toast before.
In The States, we commonly have toast with an omelette, especially in restaurants. Buttered, and then we slather preserves on it, if that’s our preference. Restaurants usually stack two, slice in half, and set it on the plate adjacent the omelette.
You’re a bunch of freaks over there. It’s no wonder we seceded.
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joeblogs Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 3:28 am
I hate to break it to you, but the US and UK are still joined at the hip -- and always will be… For better or for worse.
Now, the omelettes: Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.
Also, don’t even think of a comeback which involves anal sex. I will not be trying that. That’s the exception to the rule.
Joe.
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Hyper-Intellect Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 11:52 am
I have long wondered if, actually, straight males think about anal sex more than gays.
You have made me wonder less.
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Had an egg sandwich for breakfast myself.
I am planning a long nap this afternoon.
I hope you feel better soon. and good luck on the job search.
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joeblogs Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 3:31 am
Ahh; eggs and naps on the weekend… Gotta have it. That’s what weekends are for… Well, that and lots of dirty sex.
Thanks Roscoe.
Joe.
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Soon…a better soup, and an omelet.
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joeblogs Reply:
May 27th, 2012 at 3:33 am
I look forward to that -- and so much else…
Me.
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Look. I’m here! What kind of quack doesn’t weigh a patient before administering anesthesia? Shoulda rolled the dices, took your chances and then sued later. :P JK. Does your employer know that you could sue them for trying to force you to go against medical advice? Did your doctor actually write you out for those days? If so, tell your employer to go get bent, take the time off and then serve them with a fat lawsuit if they fire you. =D
So what’s the dealio? Do people actually still blog here? I’ve been searching for an outlet ever since MS.
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joeblogs Reply:
June 8th, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Ha! You must be American.
Doctor booked me off, for a full week. I took 3 days. Actually, I would’ve been OK to go back to work on Monday… But I caught a cold (probably in hospital). I didn’t want to risk it, you know.
You should come here more often… Even though all the cool cats have buggered off.
XXX,
Joe.
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Simply_Amy Reply:
June 8th, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Bwhaha. Yes. Of course I am American. We sue for everything, don’t you know! Actually, I think it’s kind of stupid how employees can sue for anything and everything. An HR department can’t even proper fire your ass without racking up pages and pages of paperwork and documentation about your pissy performance and many transgressions for fear of being sued.
I’d come here more often if I could find a reason to (other than your fabulous self, of course.) As much as I hate to admit it, I really miss the MS blogging community. I think MS did themselves a great disservice when they messed up everything for the bloggers; blogging seemed to be the liveliest part of the community.
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