I AM CRAFTY
2012-05-23 at 01:15 pm
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As I was driving to the office today, I was thinking about the usual stuff – like swerving into oncoming traffic, just to avoid another day of slow and painful torture (otherwise known as “work”). “Why do I do it?” I constantly ask myself. Of course, the answer is always, “Duh; you need the money.” However, there simply MUST be a better way…
Am I really doomed to take ten shades of shit every day, from petty middle-management arse-lickers? I am almost continually harassed, by my bloated bug-eyed bitch of a (man-hating) boss – and now apparently my bathroom visits are being timed! Can you believe that shit? Excuse the puns here (they may come thick and fast). I mean: The company is literally monitoring my movements! Whilst most of my colleagues spend around an hour every day, inhaling life-threatening amounts of nicotine and tar (in addition to their idle chatter throughout the day), I am sitting at my desk and doing actual work. I’m not surfing the ‘net. I’m not on personal calls. I am working. I may hate my work, but I still do it. Now I’m the one who is being monitored. There’s something seriously wrong here; right?
In my last blog (or maybe the one before; I can’t be bothered to check), I mentioned the fact that the company told me to provide my Aunt’s death certificate (because I had taken 4 hours off work, the day I found out she had died). Well, I did provide the death certificate. I thought that would be the end of it. Hell, no! It was just the beginning. On Monday morning, I received a written warning for “unauthorised absence” from work! I am not kidding. How insensitive! Even though I notified my boss (and her boss) via e-mail, it apparently counts for nought. I don’t even know why they wanted the death certificate, if they were planning to give me a written warning anyway. They were just being difficult. These are the sort of low-life scum-bags I’m dealing with… Pure evil. 
OK; there’s clearly an agenda: They want me out. They don’t like my attitude (I refuse to lick their arses). Well, FUCK THEM!!! I am sick and tired of their shit. Therefore, when the time comes (and it will come soon; I have no doubt about it), I will REJOICE! 
They won’t see me, for the dust; I will be out of there so fast… And onto better things… Cos it can only get better… :-)
I am tired of fighting to keep a job I hate; just because it pays the bills. I am in a rut. I need to do something completely different – for the sake of my health and my sanity. It’s never too late to change direction. I can (and will) do better… And, when they fire me, that will be the impetus I need to improve my life. I ALWAYS land on my feet. This will probably be the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m actually quite excited about the future. I wish they’d just hurry the fuck up and fire me already.
They will miss me, when I’m gone (not that I give a fuck). I won’t miss them at all. I am soooooooo much better than them… 
Joe.
P.S. The word “crafty” has negative connotations. However, it is obviously derived from “craft”. Therefore, a crafty person is one who is industrious and skillful. I am crafty. I haven’t ruled out the possibility of taking my story to the papers. I think a bit of bad publicity is just what this evil company needs. 8-)
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5 Responses to “I AM CRAFTY”
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Many years ago I was in your position -- and it likely took a few or several years off my life.
I was at a large company that is very well-known and engaged in what were in my opinion dubious practices it did not want to come to light. I didn’t handle the situation terribly, but I also didn’t handle it the way the more experienced and enlightened person I am now would have handled it. As a result, I stuck it out in misery a year or two. It was so emotionally painful that I would be in bed shaking before I got up to go to work.
In my opinion, they ostracized me, tried tricking me into committing dischargeable offenses, spread malicious innuendos to my coworkers, volunteered me in front of my coworkers for a workplace violence simulation where I became “the bad guy”, apparently hired private investigators to collect whatever dirt they could find, lied about and violated their own written and trumpeted business ethics, broke federal law, etc.
I wish I had the wisdom to leave before I was finally forced to. They still dug for info from me multiple times after I left. In fact -- I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if you are doing it on their behalf. I did not get unemployment, as I wondered if more gossip would have spread to a new employer in the same industry. As I changed fields, I received no unemployment checks.
At least in this country, our legal system tends to be heavily weighted toward those with money, such as large companies. I did not have the finances to pursue a legal case, even if I could have found the emotional ability to withstand their character assassination onslaught.
Please look for ANY other job NOW, and don’t give them the benefit of firing you. Until you do, never lose your temper or become irascible. And if they beat you to the separation, document now the daily situation, to improve the odds of receiving unemployment.
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Hyper-Intellect Reply:
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:26 pm
P.S.: The press might help you, but best not to count on it, and just move forward with your own life and put them behind you as quickly as possible. You are far from the only one.
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Hyper-Intellect Reply:
May 24th, 2012 at 1:47 am
Time zone test.
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joeblogs Reply:
May 24th, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Thanks for all the advice, Hyper.
Ideally, I would prefer to find a job first and just quit. I love resigning. It’s gotta be up there, with the other BEST FEELINGS IN THE WORLD (eg. Orgasms and that fresh-and-clean feeling you get after a shower). However, the job market just ain’t what it used to be. It is rough as ten bears out there, right now.
Whatever will be, will be…
Joe.
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