The Inspiration of the Labrea Tarpits, and Some People’s Kids2011-10-20 at 01:04 am Blog RSS
Earlier this evening I logged on here and proceeded to the entry of perhaps the most gifted transformer of thought into printed word
that this site has ever seen within it’s borders. This one described the story of the apple, in such a way as to make me forget for a few minutes that I was… well, myself. Perhaps it’s more accurate to say that I did not feel quite so much self contempt when I had finished reading this guy’s tale of the apple, as I had upon starting it. Because there are an uncountable number of folks that are even more misguided and fucked up in the head than I and I know it for a fact…. once again, after reading a tale of apples
Thank you, you invisible ringleader of that notorious gang of thugs ten. You continue to be an inspiration…. This started as a simple half trollish reply to one of your readers. They’d mentioned
“pure nastiness” and the rest just fell right into place. ….:-)
Somewhere along the line… someone, either out of desperate hunger or a strange compulsion [which led them to look at and smell that maggot infested putrid, fermenting pile of "pure nastiness".... and commence to shoveling it down their filthy pieholes, as if it were the breast milk of the most beautiful chick in the whole cave-clan]……
made the wonderful discovery that “pure nastiness”, when slurped down the gullet, has the effect of every now and then causing a few of the ladies to actually seek out the cave bump boogie with just about any old fellah within arms reach. Instead of having to be chased down and whacked on the noggin in the typical manner of hominid scroggin.
Word of this foul, terrible, and powerful magic spread faster than a secret that’s been entrusted to an attn whore, and soon led to the creation of an even more terrible, powerful, and foul force of evil in the world. This evil force without delay became the master of an entire planet, killing hundreds, then thousands, then millions of folks on nothing more than a whim as it continued to take ownership of hundreds of millions and then billions of lost, loyal, ignorant, and foolishly blind people. Their devotion to this singularly omnipotent force of evil was such that they became capable of unbelievable magic in their own right. If two men disagreed, he whose devotion to the evil force (that even Sauron the Great was only a mere servant of) was more pure could now speak a word or two, whisper it really, and the entire family line of the other man would be busy pushing up daisies together by the very next day. Magic.
It’s not so much the eating of the apples that those gaddamned gluttonous folks started overdoing. It’s not so much the folks who decided to slurp down the rotting piles of filth that they came upon in their day to day.
It is the clever fellow who said to himself “I have half a mind to scrape up that nasty shit, purify it to its nastiest and most harmful concentration possible, and then gift all my friends with a bottle. When they come back for more concentrated evil …I will only provide it under the condition that they [and their progeny for the next 10,000 years] become willing slaves to me, ready to kill, die, and provide me with buttsecks at the drop of a hat. Forever. Well, I won’t mention that it’s forever.. to spare them from that knowledge is a grand and noble act of kindness. I think I’ll have everyone refer to me as their “Lordship”!
And so it went, all the way to:
Last 5 posts by Lolzarus
- The Progressive Journey from Wisdom to Stupidity - April 3rd, 2012
- gop translator - March 5th, 2012
- Paradoxy moron. - February 10th, 2012
- Taking Another Man's Black Junk up the Hoo Hoo - November 10th, 2011
- Deep Thoughts, From a Shallow Well - September 26th, 2011
View Counter: 391 views
17 Responses to “The Inspiration of the Labrea Tarpits, and Some People’s Kids”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.