Create a playlist at MixPod.com

 

 

 

FUNNY FRIDAY BITCHEZZ!!!

 

        

 

 

Happy Friday fuckers!! Truth be told I’m rather pissy for a Friday, so hopefully this helps! Retro this week, Party Up by DMX..why not. Cause I truly am about to lose my mind up in here! 

 

 

Ok, you guys are slackin!!! I pretty much only have stuff from Tater this week. A lot of it is political humor so just deal with it. I’ll find ya some sexual innuendo as I go along..LMAO. Cause really..that’s why ya’ll are here..heh.

 

Oh yea, **WARNING! THIS WEEKS Funny Friday will contain nudity..please exit if you’re offended!!**

 

Nothing like the thought of sunshine,
a backyard BBQ, a Cold Beer, and 
maybe a SEXY blonde doing the cooking !

Well shit, two out of three ain’t bad…..
Have a Super Day Anyway!

 

When your friends cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, give 
them this list. They can then pick their reasons from this “TOP 12″ 
list:

 

**Ok,ok, even I found some of these cruel so I omitted some..LMAO!!**

1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% 
on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same 
gallon of gas at 15% isn’t. (my fav Tater..LMAO)

2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a 
better job of spending the money that I earn than I can.

3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as 
nobody is offended by it.

4. I voted Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, 
and I know that my local police are all I need to protect myself from 
murderers and thieves.

5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us 
if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt 
away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.

8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be 
allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and 
give the rest away to the government for redistribution to those too 
lazy to work.

9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite 
the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would 
never get their agendas past the voters.

10. I voted Democrat because I think that it’s better to pay billions 
to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it 
might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.

11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most 
wonderful country in the world, I was promised HOPE AND CHANGE.

 

 

Arizona governor vs. Phoenix Suns owner – I’d say she makes a
pretty good case with her analogy!!

The owner of the Phoenix Suns basketball team, Robert Sarver,
came out strongly opposing AZ’s new immigration laws.

Arizona’s Governor, Jan Brewer, released the following statement
in response to Sarver’s criticism of the new law: 

“What if the owners of the Suns discovered that hordes of people
were sneaking into games without paying? What if they had a
good idea who the gate-crashers are, but the ushers and 
security personnel were not allowed to ask these folks to
produce their ticket stubs, thus non-paying attendees couldn’t
be ejected.
Furthermore, what if Suns’ ownership was expected to provide
those who sneaked in with complimentary eats and drink? And
what if, on those days when a gate-crasher became ill or injured,
the Suns had to provide free medical care and shelter?” 
- Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer

 

 

 

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

  1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

  2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

  3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

  4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

  5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?  Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.” (LOVE IT)

  6. “You don’t know how fast you were going?  I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

  7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I’M the shift supervisor?”

  8. “Warning!  You want a warning?  O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

  9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.  Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

10. “Fair?  You want me to be fair?  Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

11. “Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.”  (National Crime Information Center) (Good one!)

13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”

14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore.  We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours.  That’s good – you know someone who can post your bail.” 

AND THE WINNER IS…

16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets?  You’re right, we don’t.  Sign here.”

 

Ok, that’s all from Tater, I have some reallllly good ones from him but they have nudity and I don’t feel like battling TOS today..so we’ll save em for next week. LMAO.

 

 

AHHH WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDDING???

 

I’m old and I don’t take well to change. I’m usually the last to try the latest gizmo’s and gadgets. Friends seem surprised when I say “I Don’t Twitter.” And I never understood the meaning of Twitter until I saw this!

 

Finally……..

a tattoo that makes sense!

 

Have you ever been afraid ….. of sex?

How about Now???

 

And lastly, I know you guys have all come to love these..sooooooooo:

 

Allllllright fuckers I’m out!! Have a kick ass weekend in whatever you do. If for any of you that should included I dunno, orgies, felicio parties etc…lemme know..I’ll bring the flavored condoms!

 

 

Last 5 posts by justjeff

• Italian Summer - June 24th, 2011
• Discombobulated - June 6th, 2011
• Funny Friday!!! - May 20th, 2011
• Love.... - May 12th, 2011
• Funny Friday - May 6th, 2011

View Counter: 913 views

Tags: comedy, Funny Friday, Just Jeff
Other RSS 2.0 You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.