Mrs C doesn’t think she does Gym
2010-12-02 at 08:26 am
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I don’t get the gymn
thing. It is completely without purpose to me….I know I should be putting something witty or funny here, but you are talking about going into a room and sweating for fun and the acceptable uniform for doing so is made only to suit skinny 13 year olds, who are far too busy refusing to get out of bed and telling you that they want to die before they get as old as you.
I went to a step class with my mum and we were thrown out! Apparently you need a satnav in order to follow the moves! (Admittedly we were slightly disruptive amoungst the serious ladies there and refused to stop giggling as we constantly bumped into them and regarded all steps as communal property – note to self: Communism has no place in female fitness)
We looked at a gym and some kid wanted to give us a lesson in riding a bike and the bike went nowhere! They put tellys in ther room full of music you hate to encourage you to pedal faster in order to vainly attempt to escape from Lady Gaga! Then there is wide rubber band that constantly moves at various speeds like something off a traction engine and you are supposed to run there. Run where? The whole lady Gaga video thing going on makes you want to run backwards and to be honest that is not a good thing when overcompensating for a forward moving conveyor belt! Part of me wants to bring luggage and imagine I am catching a flight and some cheap booze at the end.
People are paying to do this! GO FOR A FUCKING WALK! You don’t need to target your various als – abdominals, pectrals etc etc…take your anim-als for a long walk and get a brisk pace up….look at what is around you and go somewhere…put an mp3 of a book you can’t be arsed to read on….don’t run on a rubber band like a mule on a wheel, watching a woman who removing the rashers to make one bacon sandwich, would render pornographic!
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34 Responses to “Mrs C doesn’t think she does Gym”
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LOL I try to skip the whole exercise thing, myself. I know too many people with bad knees from all that walking and running. haha
(your bulletin worked--it got me here to read)
Very funny blog, I liked it
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All the guys what 6 packs. I have a 12 pack so there
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 10:46 am
Yeah? I know blokes that can pass for pregnant so you can quite with the boasting right there!
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LOL! I got kicked out too, for threatening to stuff the Britney Spears video up the trainer’s arse is she played it one more time. Now I do “bodybuilding building for the destitude” which normal people define as “work”. Things like chop wood, garden, move boxes, wash the car, clean the house, shovel snow, hand-water the garden with the ewer for an entire museum village, because they don’t have a single hose connection. If you don’t think that’s fitness. Try watering the lawn with two 10 liter ewers, and having to draw your water from the castle fountain.
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BWHAhahahahaha the bike that goes nowhere is called Spinning, it is usually done with disco lights and loud music all around you -- at least over here it is. I LOVE it as it is the only kind of bike I can ride. WHAhahahahahaha
I was roaring with LoLs during this entire blog but not without leaving with a guilty feeling. I am one of those people who has a Gym Membership. The Gym is just across the road from me, you can literally spit from my bedroom window to their entrance and I pay 45 euro a month fee and NEVER go. I haven’t been for almost a year now. Life just got in the way.
Before you throw me off your friend list in disgust hahahahaha I do a lot of walking and swimming, so I am not a total lazy slob. I intend to hit the Gym in January again. I have so much fun there, especially with the Dutch language. When I first started going my dutch was still a little rusty. The power walk machine I was on told me now to go backwards and guess what? I took it literally, trying to turn my body around backwards, which is, btw, humanly impossible to do. Needless to say I ended up in a heap beside the equipment and the other people in the Gym at the time ended up in a heap on the floor in laughter.
I was soooo embarrassed.
Care to join me in the Gym next month? I am looking for new partner. I had to give my old on the boot after 14 years of friendship. :-/
:-)
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 10:48 am
When the Gym gets honest and the video in front of your treadmill is Talking Heads and ‘Road to Nowhere’…I may reconsider
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Caroline Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 11:47 am
HA hahahahahaha HA :-)
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You know, I hate sports, so it’s not as if we’ll ever meet at Ascot. But:
I have been having an inordinate amount of stress the past year, both with death through suicide by my brother, with deep family problems, with my marriage, with my house, with insurances, also professionally, with my job--being totally exhausted, and with some stuff in my private life that I don’t discuss with anyone.
I cycle almost everywhere instead of driving; I live in a medieval town with narrow cobbled streets where driving my car is like HELL, let alone finding parking space which is even worse. I eat very healthily, so basically, i’m not doing this to lose weight per sé, but to regain some control over my mind and body. I feel so out of shape, so sad, so … so … I had the choice: either I continue on my way to sedate myself with wine, and more wine, and even more red wine, OR… or I force myself to find a way out.
That is why I signed up for the gym. My survival instinct kicked in.
If you read my blog carefully, I slipped in one little sentence where I say that the heat and seclusion of the sauna helped me to cry and let go. That has been therapeutic for me.
Also: Next year, next summer, a new beach, a new bikini, a new body. YAY!! I want to be there. I want to be that soldier! I continue the fight.
x
K
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Weissdorn Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 10:51 am
You’re a very clever girl! ;D
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 10:52 am
You are talking about wearing effectively small knickers and bra in public and your entire reply is in warlike vein.
When you have won the battle with you…come and have a nice sit down and a slice of cake with Carla. I’ll see you there
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Kit The Kat Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:57 am
Thanks! Coffee!
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Ha ha! Excellent take. I can image the havoc you created amongst all those, oh so serious, folk.
A commercial for a ‘new’ treadmill came on last night and touted much the same. You can apparently hook the contraption to the internet and download different ‘tours’ to take whilst actually going nowhere. Want to run the Boston marathon? Hells bells, no need to actually go to Boston, just download the damn thing and be in it on the screen while staying in the comfort of your own home.
Wonder how long it will be before we all stay home permanently while going everywhere, and doing everything virtually. If it ever extends to virtual sex, I’m getting out.
Don’t get me started!
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 10:53 am
I was told that it is better to use a treadmill than to walk as you can set the incline to your requirements!
I think we have done enough to our landscape without virtualising it and adjusting it yet more to our requirements!
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I say lets just go eat cake! tehehe….
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 10:54 am
Hell yes…just after I walk the dog and take Sam out for some exercise
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Indeed, I used to have a gym membership and it can be helpful to be around like minded people… keep you going when you’re getting lazy. But there is also a lot of strangeness there. Like the lady attired in the vintage pink spandex outfit that is constantly on the prowl for someone to spot her, or the idiot that thinks its okay to spit on the floor. Nope I go solo for the most part now.
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Funny blog. I did join a gym after I had both of my sons. I didn’t use the treadmill, nor the stationery bike. I used the weights, and did the aerobics. I loved it, and it got me toned back up after having my sons. I ran cross country in high school and for years, up until I had my back surgeries. Although I go walking now, I miss running. It was a great outlet for me.
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Ha-Ha…the aerobics class scene was too funny. I once encountered one of these classes only to find out that these platforms they step up on, so elegantly and in rhythm, became my demise. I quickly learned that my feet didn’t prefer to cooperate and decided to punish me by throttling my nose inches from the ground more than once. I left..I never looked back. *sigh*
I didn’t even attempt the rubber band type contraptions.
Cheers,
Duffee
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:41 pm
Everytime you try to get enthusiastic you bump into someone and realise you are going the wrong way…then you get all flustered and leap rather than step….nobody tells you that when you leap -- the elegant bit of plastic step slides across the floor and you take out the people on either side in your attempts to remain upright.
Just me huh?
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over the years i have done a few areobics classes and suchlike. Had wieghts at home (that I would use for 6 month spurts. 35 pound dumbells in my office that I used to curl when I wasn’t busy (that actually was effective as Yacht brokers have plenny downtime). Best workout session series I had was when I was 52… The doc were piddling around with me and trying to decide if they were going to put me on long trem chemo (1 year).. I heard that Interfieron was not a pleasnt thing and decided to get buffed out to weather the comming storm… Keep in mind I am rather frugal (cheap). I wanted to make sure I would not get bored and excersize faithfully..
.
I have always been well motivated by making money so I took a part time job (4:00AM-To 8:00AM) sorting packages and loading trucks by hand. It was like going to family fitness every morning for 4 hours… and then they gave you money. YES! Worked pretty damn good too. Of course the chemo kicked the living shit out of me. But I was Lookin Good while my ass was getting kicked…
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Queen_Bish Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Chemo? I know that is a very exhausting and more often than not, zapping one out of all physical strength, leaving you completely drained. I hope you are recovered from that?
My job is very physical as well.
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Dewey Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 7:33 pm
it was a low intensity long term thing.. Not near as debilitating as a cancer patient gets.. I was put on a very strict schedule that had to be adhered to without variration. Had to do shots in the same hour once a week and take handfulls of pills every day on schedule. It was not a lot of fun… but believe me most people get a much rougher version. I was awfully glad when I finished the program…. LOL!
Best descrption of it would like haveing a really really bad head cold… for 48 weeks.. gets to ya after a bit. Took about a year and a half to feel good again. I am fine a long time now.
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:43 pm
his family took longer to recover from his constant attempts to rebel against the regime!
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Dewey Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 1:19 am
wifey did get pissy about the whole thing. I think she was eyeballing a spot on the shelf where a fancy urn might sit.
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I know a lot of wrestlers/mixed martial artists and a lot of them say going to the gym is better because they have no motivation to workout at home.
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:43 pm
To be fair we are talking about general fitness rather than training for a
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:44 pm
an event.
I am informed by my doctor that a five mile brisk
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:45 pm
walk in the open air on varied terrain, beats a five mile jog on a machine!
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I’m a walker.
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Walking is the best form of excercise -- doesn’t hurt, works all the relevant muscles and you get to talk to others and look at what is around you
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Cheri Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 7:14 pm
I love it. I walk with my best friend. We walk nearly every day. We never walk less than 3 miles, sometimes we walk 4 1/2. we have trails in the forest preserves or an asphalt track around the campus of our local college, or sometimes we walk the neighborhood. It all depends on our mood and what we have time for. While we walk, we vent… We usually talk about her sister who drives us both crazy. We get it all off of our chests. We feel better for venting, and for exercizing.
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Use to do the gym thing myself, almost 10 years. Liked the workout and the results, but never got use to guys staring at themselves in the mirror like they wanted to just jump their own bones and the others who just walked around looking pretty afraid to sweet because it might ruin their look. If you just sit back and watch the world go by, there is a lot of comedy out there.
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Mrs_Clayton Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:48 pm
I do feel that being stuck in front of a telly is not seeing what is there regardless of the fact you are jogging at the same time….If people are so scared of the outside world then they can jog in their living rooms and at least have the choice of music!
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I think gyms are places of utmost amusement and bemusement
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