FUNNY FRIDAY BITCHEZZZ!!!! ADULT HUMOR2011-01-21 at 11:29 am Blog RSS
FUNNY FRIDAY FUCKERS!!!!!
It should be!
Welcome to Friday fuckers!!!! This week let’s roll with RHCP and Love Rollercoaster!
Oh, umm, yea….
WARNNING..ADULT HUMOR!!!! You know, for the tards that would think it was anything else!
First up, some quickies from that funny group on Facebook, Truly Tasteless Jokes!
A lonely older lady, aged 75, decided it was time to get married. She
put an ad in the local paper that read: “HUSBAND WANTED.
Must be in my age group must not run around on me, must not beat me,
and must still be good in bed! All applicants must apply in person.
On the second day of the ad she heard the doorbell ring. There sat a
man in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. She asked sardonically,
“You are not expecting me to consider you, are you?? Just look at you
you have no legs!
The old man smiled. “Therefore, no chance to run around on you!” The
old lady snorted, “You have no arms either!” “Therefore no chance to
beat you. Still good in bed?” she asked. The old man smirked and said,
“I rang the doorbell didn’t I?”
Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it’s not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
“How long will this take?” she asks.
“They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.
The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?”
“Worked for your butt, didn’t it?”
Q: What’s red and has seven dents in it?
A: Snow White’s cherry
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor…
The Doc says, “Well, it’s either Alzheimers disease or AIDS.”
“What do you mean?” The guy says, “You can’t tell the difference?”
“Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages… Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don’t
Drink Orders… A Utah Mormon was seated next to an Irish Catholic on a flight back to States from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey and a glass of Guinness, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.” The Irishman then handed his drinks back to the attendant and said, “Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice.”
A blonde, a brunette and a red head are sipping tea and discussing their pregnancies.
The brunette says, “My baby’s going to be a boy.” The blonde asks, “How do you know?” The brunette says, “Because when we did it, my husband was on top.”
The red head then says, “My baby’s going to be a girl.” The blonde asks, “How do you know?” The red head says, “Because when we did it, I was on top.”
The blonde starts crying hysterically. When her friends finally calm her down, they ask her why she was crying. The blonde says, “My baby’s going to be a puppy.”
Next up, some Tater!!!!
Lastly, some Debbie V!
Charlie’s wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower.
Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet.
As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.
About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament. They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation,
Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.).
Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, “Well, Doctor, I’ll bet you’ve never seen anything like this before.”
The Doctor replied, “Actually, I’ve seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed.
Alllright bitchezz, I’m out! Have a kick ass weekend!!!!
You didn’t think I’d really forget these did you?
Last 5 posts by justjeff
- Italian Summer - June 24th, 2011
- Discombobulated - June 6th, 2011
- Funny Friday!!! - May 20th, 2011
- Love.... - May 12th, 2011
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