Far From Here


Being known as a Warrior
Is not given,
It is something that is earned,
My lesson here has been
Learned,
In a world so dark and cold,
I feel so far away,
I tend to asunder myself
From what is contained,
And yet the ashes still remain,
I feel so far from here,
With the slightest fear,
I refuse to go back,
Sometimes I don’t want to move
Forward so there won’t be a past,
I remember all the times,
I used to be a good girl,
I always wanted to be heard,
But times changed me,
I don’t know whether if I’m a
Bad girl or a good girl,
It’s hard to tell in the real world,
So many times I’ve been
Trying to reach out for
The light,
But instead I’ve been chasing shadows,
Sometimes I’m not sure if there
Is not rescue for me,
There is no hope to be free,
What is it that I can do?
I am so far from here,
So far from home,
I am not exactly home,
Sometimes I feel that my spirit is
Lost in the wilderness,
My past and even
My present haunts me during
The night,
It is so hard to fight,
Even when I might,
Break down,
And not be able to stand my
Own ground,
When I wake up in the morning
I have to define who I am in the
Mirror,
Whether if I am happy or sad,
Astonished or mad,
My emotions go up and down
Like the Libra scale day and light
And I wish I could stop it,
That’s why I feel so far away from
Here,
So far from this universe,
Some people don’t even view me
As normal,
It is not my fault that I was utterly
Mistreated during my childhood,
Mentally and physically,
But I am managing to get over
It one day at a time,
It is not a crime,
I am still trying,
But I am not crying,
I am getting over it,
Even when I try to sleep at
Night,
I don’t get enough,
Sleep like I should,
Even if I could,
My time is running out,
I want to be heard,
My lesson has been learned
But I still have much
More to learn,
As far as I know,
My heart shape box is buried
Within chest,
I have to find a way to rest,
I know deep down inside
That there is hope,
I can still cope,
My inner soul may be far
From home but I still have my
Spirit and my self esteem,
I know where I stand,
And I know that I still have
A chance,
This life may be hard,
But as an Aries,
I am the Ruler of Mars,
I cannot let the darkness of
My past haunt me nor can I let
My demons get me down,
I must fight and I must reach
For the light,



Still Life by Toni Hawkins

Whenever I write,
I am always myself again,
I feel like my own best friend,
When I can’t sleep,
I can feel the cubicles racing
Through my brain,
It’s just so nerve-wracking,
But in the middle of the night,
I get up and write,
That is what I do,
Because I’m a night-writer,
And I’m a fighter,
I sometimes consider my life,
As a still life,
Even though most people
Say life is short,
This life is long,
It’s a slow life when you
Go through depression,
But I’m still recovering,
During the day I am a confident,
Determined well-centered person
But at night,
I am the opposite,
This is a still life,
Bi-polar is something I have
To fight,
I am not afraid,
Nor am I as depress as before,
I am changing,
I am getting stronger,
And wiser,
When the sparks fly,
I know that’s a sign,
I have to lead my own way
Through this long life,